Goldman Sachs, the same Wall Street juggernaut that’s been synonymous with cutthroat capitalism, is now demanding its junior bankers sign a “loyalty oath” every three months—because apparently, common sense and mutual trust are too much to ask for on Wall Street these days.
At a Glance
- Goldman Sachs is requiring junior bankers to certify their loyalty to the firm in writing every 90 days.
- The policy responds to rampant early departures for better pay and hours in private equity.
- Industry-wide, banks are losing young talent after investing heavily in their recruitment and training.
- Critics argue that this “loyalty oath” is a symptom of deeper issues plaguing Wall Street work culture.
Goldman Wants Loyalty—Because Good Old-Fashioned Mutual Respect is Out of Style
In a move that manages to be both hilarious and tragic, Goldman Sachs is now making its junior bankers swear—on paper, every quarter—that they haven’t already accepted a golden ticket out of the building. Yes, these are the same 22-year-olds who, after surviving 100-hour weeks and conference calls at 2 AM, are being asked to pledge their undying commitment to the mothership just so the higher-ups can sleep at night. The logic? After years of whining about “work-life balance” and “mental health,” these young analysts have made a habit of jumping ship for private equity firms faster than you can say “exit opportunity.” So, Goldman’s brain trust decided the solution wasn’t to fix the culture or the hours, but to turn the place into a cross between a corporate boot camp and a loyalty cult.
The result is a policy so tone-deaf it would almost be funny if it weren’t so revealing. Junior bankers, already under siege from impossible deadlines and the ever-present threat of burnout, now have to prove their fealty every 90 days. If you thought pledging allegiance to the flag was enough, try pledging allegiance to a spreadsheet and a managing director’s bonus pool. The unspoken message: “We know you want to leave, and we know you’re probably already interviewing. But sign here anyway, so we can pretend everything’s fine and keep milking you for billable hours.”
The Real Reason Behind the Loyalty Oath: Wall Street’s Revolving Door
Let’s not kid ourselves—this isn’t about ethics or team spirit. It’s about money. Banks like Goldman have spent years hemorrhaging junior talent to private equity, which offers fewer hours, more respect, and—hold onto your hat—even better pay. After pouring millions into recruiting the “best and brightest” from the Ivy League, they watch as these same hotshots bolt for greener pastures the moment their signing bonus clears. Private equity firms are so aggressive that some are recruiting analysts before they’ve even started their jobs, turning Wall Street’s analyst programs into glorified training camps for their own workforce. Banks are furious, but instead of looking in the mirror, they’re blaming everyone else and doubling down on loyalty pledges.
Goldman isn’t alone in this panic. JPMorgan has already threatened to fire any analyst who takes a competing offer before completing 18 months. Firms like Apollo Global Management recently announced they’d stop interviewing new analyst classes altogether, not out of kindness, but because the entire process has become a farce. The “talent war” has gotten so ridiculous that, for the first time, the big banks actually look like they’re losing. Their answer? More paperwork and more pressure for the grunts at the bottom.
Culture Crisis: Loyalty Oath or Desperation Move?
Here’s what no one in the C-suite wants to admit: a loyalty oath isn’t going to fix what’s broken. When junior bankers are working 95–105 hours a week, with all the glamour of a medieval scribe and none of the job security, a forced quarterly pledge is just salt in the wound. The policy hasn’t been officially announced, but the news is out—and the reaction is as one would expect. Insiders are calling the move a desperate attempt to patch a sinking ship with red tape instead of real solutions. Some industry experts point out that demanding written loyalty every three months might actually backfire, driving away the very talent these firms claim to value.
Meanwhile, private equity recruiters are probably popping champagne. Every time Goldman rolls out another tone-deaf policy, it becomes easier for them to lure away smart, ambitious young people who’d rather not spend the best years of their lives chained to a desk for a company that doesn’t trust them. The irony? A Wall Street that once prided itself on breeding loyalty now has to legislate it—because, apparently, treating people like human beings is just too much to ask in the world’s richest industry.
